Being human is a tricky business.
Therapy can offer us many things, but perhaps its three most valuable offerings are:
1) A person and a process to whom you can speak your Inner Truth, whatever that is.
2) A place where you will always be fully heard and engaged with, without any moral or social agendas driving our discussion (the only focus being a your mental, physical and creative/spiritual well-being).
3) An opportunity to get to know yourself a bit better, and in so doing, learn to cope more skilfully with the Self or Selves you are (or hope to become).
Where To Begin?
I believe there are Five Jumping-Off Points in terms of any therapeutic conversation or encounter we might have. You can read about these in the How I Work section of this site.
Perhaps an overall good place to start is to ask yourself “who” exactly is reading these words?
You, of course, but who or what is this “you”?
Each of us gets through life thanks to a certain kind of temperament, character, or personality style. This is the lens or “Operating System” through which the psyche functions in order to to get its needs met. Freud gave a very simple name to this part of us, calling it “I” or “me” (in German: Das Ich), which in English is usually translated into the Latin word Ego.
Imagine a pair bifocal glasses with two lenses: the Clarity Lens shows you the world and yourself in the most adaptive way, whilst the Shadow Lens reveals distortions and complexities. These lenses could be said to symbolize your personality style—Clarity brings well-being, whereas Shadow often brings distress.
Below are nine Enneagram-inspired bifocals, grouped into three optical dimensions: Instinct Frames, Heart Frames, and Mind Frames.
Choose the frame(s) that align best with the nuances of your own inner light and shade. Some may find a reflection of themselves in one pair from each dimension, while others recognize their core in a single overall set of frames.
Delve deeper by selecting the highlighted name of each frame to see how these bifocals work in practice.
INSTINCT FRAMES: For those guided by an innate sense of their own being, whether it’s the fiery assertiveness of conviction, the passive serenity of harmony, or the relentless drive for integrity. These frames will resonate with wearers who value security and self-preservation, yet also grapple with the underlying tensions and driving forces of their primal essence.
Description: Bold, assertive frames symbolizing strength and control.
Clarity Lens: Authoritative, Confident, Courageous, Decisive, Direct, Energetic, Just, Leading, Powerful, Protective, Resolute, Strong, Tenacious, Truthful, Unyielding
Shadow Lens: Aggressive, Bullying, Confrontational, Controlling, Dominating, Intimidating, Merciless, Overbearing, Ruthless, Shouting, Unempathetic, Unyielding, Vengeful, Volatile, Willful
Description: Gentle, calming frames with an emphasis on harmony.
Clarity Lens: Accepting, Calm, Comforting, Content, Easygoing, Harmonious, Peaceful, Receptive, Relaxed, Satisfied, Simple, Supportive, Trusting, Unassuming, Understanding
Shadow Lens: Apathetic, Complacent, Disengaged, Disconnected, Dull, Ignoring, Indifferent, Lazy, Passive, Resigned, Sleepy, Stagnant, Stubborn, Unfocused, Unresponsive.
Description: Classic, clean lines with an air of precision.
Clarity Lens: Accurate, Committed, Discerning, Ethical, Fair, Idealistic, Organized, Principled, Purposeful, Rational, Responsible, Self-Controlled, Sensible, Thorough, Wise
Shadow Lens: Critical, Demanding, Inflexible, Judgmental, Obsessive, Overbearing, Perfectionistic, Rigid, Ruthless, Self-Righteous, Tense, Unforgiving, Unyielding, Withdrawn, Worrying
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HEART FRAMES: The choice of many who live and breathe emotions, Heart Frames mirror the depth, complexity, and sometimes the turbulence of our feelings. Perfect for those who navigate the world through empathy, connection, and heartfelt introspection, but who also grapple with the highs and lows of their inner landscape.
Description: Warm, inviting frames with a nurturing touch.
Clarity Lens: Affectionate, Caring, Compassionate, Considerate, Generous, Helpful, Kind, Loving, Nurturing, Personable, Sincere, Supportive, Sympathetic, Thoughtful, Understanding
Shadow Lens: Clingy, Co-dependent, Intrusive, Manipulative, Meddling, Overbearing, Overindulgent, Patronizing, Possessive, Self-Sacrificing, Smothering, Suffocating, Inauthentic, Unselfish, Zealous
Description: Sleek, modern design symbolizing ambition and success.
Clarity Lens: Adaptive, Ambitious, Confident, Driven, Efficient, Goal-Oriented, Motivated, Optimistic, Organized, Productive, Successful, Tenacious, Thriving, Versatile, Winning
Shadow Lens: Arrogant, Competitive, Consumed, Controlling, Deceptive, Driven, Image-Conscious, Manipulative, Overworked, Ruthless, Shallow, Unemotional, Unscrupulous, Vain, Workaholic
Description: Artistic frames with a unique, creative flair.
Clarity Lens: Authentic, Creative, Deep, Expressive, Imaginative, Individualistic, Insightful, Intuitive, Original, Passionate, Romantic, Sensitive, Thoughtful, Unique, Understanding
Shadow Lens: Aloof, Capricious, Despondent, Dramatic, Envious, Impulsive, Moody, Oversensitive, Resentful, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental, Unpredictable, Unsettled, Whimsical, Withdrawn
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MIND FRAMES: Tailored for the thinkers and contemplatives of this world who dissect, analyse, and engage with life through curious immersion. If you’re someone who finds solace in ideas, scenarios, and possibilities, yet occasionally find yourself lost in the vast expanse of your thoughts and anxieties, Mind Frames will echo your cerebral odyssey.
Description: Intellectual, minimalistic design with a focus on functionality.
Clarity Lens: Analytical, Curious, Detail-Oriented, Independent, Inquisitive, Intelligent, Inventive, Objective, Observant, Reflective, Reserved, Thoughtful, Unattached, Wise, Visionary
Shadow Lens: Aloof, Cold, Critical, Detached, Eccentric, Guarded, Isolated, Obsessive, Pessimistic, Reclusive, Reticent, Secretive, Skeptical, Unemotional, Withdrawn
Description: Sturdy, reliable frames representing trust and loyalty.
Clarity Lens: Alert, Cautious, Committed, Dependable, Engaged, Faithful, Friendly, Loyal, Observant, Prepared, Responsible, Secure, Supportive, Trusting, Vigilant
Shadow Lens: Anxious, Cautious, Defensive, Doubtful, Fearful, Insecure, Nervous, Obsessive, Paranoid, Skeptical, Suspicious, Tense, Uncertain, Wary, Worrisome
Description: Vibrant, colourful frames radiating joy and excitement.
Clarity Lens: Adventurous, Bubbly, Energetic, Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy, Joyful, Optimistic, Playful, Positive, Spontaneous, Upbeat, Versatile, Vibrant, Youthful
Shadow Lens: Distracted, Escapist, Fickle, Flighty, Impatient, Impulsive, Irresponsible, Overindulgent, Restless, Scattered, Superficial, Uncommitted, Unfocused, Unrestrained, Wasteful
If you’re here, whatever specs you’re wearing, you’re probably hurting in some way. Therapy aims to untangle the web of your personality bifocals, past experiences, as well as life circumstances in order to help you find greater peace and well-being.
How I Might Be Able To Assist You With All of This
I have over a decade’s worth of experience, both in the NHS and privately, helping clients with an extensive range of personal issues ranging from anxiety and depression to relationship problems (including couples therapy and dating issues/frustrations), sexuality and identity, LGBTQ+ issues and gender dysphoria, substance/food/drink dependencies, ADHD, autism and other forms of neurodivergency, trauma, PTSD, work problems, and all the other ways in which we human beings suffer.
Together we can explore what factors might be contributing to your struggles, looking at the deeper roots of these problems as well as focusing on the here-and-now to help you lead a more fulfilling life.
This can help give you a better understanding of yourself, as well as new skills or perspectives in moving ahead through life. For more about how we would do this, please have a look at my How I Work page.
If you’d like to arrange an initial consultation session to talk more, or perhaps connect for a 15-20 minute “vibes” chat on the phone, let’s organise that for us on WhatsApp (07804197605), or via email if you prefer.
I look forward to hearing from you.