Perhaps the most fascinating yet paradoxical thing about personality is that our greatest strengths are also a kind of weakness. Just as that bifocal lens of Self allows us to see both near and far, our most positive traits also encapsulate our shadow sides.
For instance: persistence helps us achieve goals, yet in excess becomes stubbornness. Sensitivity fosters compassion, yet also makes us prone to taking things personally.
Notice how those elements that cause the most pain or distress for you are probably linked or fused in some way with your inherent strengths.
Assertive (Aggressive), Confident (Intimidating), Courageous (Reckless), Decisive (Impulsive), Direct (Blunt), Empowering (Overbearing), Generous (Manipulative), Independent (Isolated), Inspirational (Unrealistic), Just (Unyielding), Protective (Smothering), Resilient (Insensitive), Strong (Dominating), Visionary (Impractical), Willful (Stubborn)
For this reason, psychotherapy of any sort is often about trying to help our Shadow Lens become better integrated with our Clarity Lens.
Hypnotherapy can be helpful here too as it works directly with our unconscious mind, bypassing some of our defences and bifocal inner-conflicts.
By acknowledging this inherent duality in our personalities, we gain insight into why such a mix of traits creates stress. Coming to terms with, or even celebrating, these paradoxical identities can lead to a clearer and more compassionate understanding of ourselves and others.
Similarly, discussing one’s life path with these bifocal traits in mind can serve as a valuable entry point for therapeutic exploration and enquiry.
If you’re interested in delving further into these aspects, here are some links for your consideration: