Enneagram Type 1: The Reformer
Stressful Sticking Points
– Salvation Complex: The weight of the world feels disproportionately placed on our shoulders, which can result in heightened stress and a perpetual state of emergency within our internal landscape. This ongoing tension rarely eases, given our view of the world’s endless needs.
– Impatience with Progress: We find the gap between the present reality and our ideal very stressful. This urgency for change can lead to constant frustration, taking a toll on our emotional and physical well-being.
– Self-Criticism: Our internal critic is not just present; it’s overactive and exhausting. This incessant self-examination creates an ongoing mental strain, sapping our energy and keeping us in a state of internal unrest.
– Emotional Disconnect: Holding ourselves at an emotional arm’s length is more than a quirk; it’s a draining endeavor. The energy used to suppress ‘undesirable’ feelings generates underlying stress that affects both our mind and body.
– Repressed Anger: Managing our concealed indignation is like balancing on a knife’s edge. The constant suppression generates palpable stress, affecting not just our mental state but also creating hidden physiological tolls.
Dialling Down Distress
– Embrace Collective Responsibility: Acknowledging that world issues are collective efforts, not solo missions, can help mitigate the immense stress arising from the ‘saviour complex’. This shifts our focus to contributions rather than single-handed resolutions, providing palpable relief.
– Value Incremental Change: Learning to appreciate small advancements will dial down the constant stress triggered by our impatience. It creates a sense of purpose and gratification that can gradually replace our innate restlessness.
– Question the Inner Critic: Strategically challenging our inner critic can not only silence its constant commentary but also reduce the stress associated with ongoing self-judgment. Tools like mindfulness and reflective writing can be particularly effective.
– Engage in Emotional Discovery: Opening up to our emotional experiences, perhaps through journaling or therapy, can diminish the stress of maintaining our emotional facades. The acceptance and integration of ‘messy’ emotions can be deeply liberating.
– Express Rather than Repress: Finding healthy outlets for our anger—be it through physical activity, expressive writing, or constructive confrontation—can dramatically reduce the internal stress generated by suppression.
Enneagram Type 2: The Helper
Stressful Sticking Points
- Dependency on Affirmation: We are easily ensnared in the stressful loop of requiring external validation to feel worthy. This conditional self-worth is a constant undercurrent, creating a gnawing sense of insecurity and stress.
- Disconnection from Own Needs: Our focus on others can result in a stressful disconnect from our own needs and desires. The continued neglect generates a strain that can lead to burnout or heightened emotional sensitivity.
- Intrusive Helping: We may take on others’ issues as if they were our own, generating unspoken stress. This sense of obligation is exhausting, as it feels like a self-imposed mandate that rarely lets up.
- Resentment: Unacknowledged, our goodwill often morphs into quiet resentment. This manifests as an inner tension, a heavy stressor that corrodes our emotional well-being.
- Overidentification with Others: The stress of losing ourselves in others’ emotional worlds can lead to a blurred sense of identity, further exacerbating our internal tension.
Dialling Down Distress
- Seek Internal Validation: Learning to find affirmation from within can greatly relieve the stress of constant external approval-seeking. Practicing self-compassion and acknowledging our own worth are crucial steps.
- Self-Care Rituals: Focusing on our own well-being, even if it’s for a few moments each day, can alleviate the stress stemming from self-neglect. Simple activities like reading, taking a bath, or going for a walk can be transformative.
- Set Boundaries: Learning to say ‘no’ can dramatically reduce the stress associated with over-commitment. It requires courage but ultimately leads to healthier relationships and a calmer inner world.
- Acknowledge and Release Resentment: Keeping a resentment journal or discussing these feelings openly can transform the stifled stress into actionable change, allowing emotional healing to take place.
- Clarify Self-Identity: Mindfulness practices that hone attention inward can help clarify who we are when we are not in the role of helper, aiding us in releasing the stress associated with a blurry sense of self.
Enneagram Type 3: The Achiever
Stressful Sticking Points
- Success as Self-Worth: For us, the stress of not achieving can be debilitating. Our self-worth is so intricately tied to our achievements that failure or stagnation can trigger profound anxiety.
- Impostor Syndrome: Despite our accomplishments, we often wrestle with the stressful belief that we are frauds awaiting exposure. This gnaws at our peace of mind, disrupting emotional equilibrium.
- Emotional Bypassing: We might sidestep emotional encounters to focus on tasks, but this causes a build-up of unresolved emotional stress, affecting us in indirect, often unrecognized, ways.
- Perfectionism: Our drive to excel can tip into debilitating perfectionism, which serves as a constant stressor. The fear of minor errors can become a significant source of internal pressure.
- Over-Commitment: The need to continually achieve can lead to taking on too much, resulting in overwhelming stress and potential burnout.
Dialling Down Distress
- Value Personal Over Professional: Acknowledging personal qualities over professional achievements can help diffuse the constant stress of performance. Acts of kindness, integrity, and love are achievements in themselves.
- Confront the Impostor: Acknowledging our skills and contributions can combat the constant background stress of Impostor Syndrome. Celebrate small victories and remember past successes.
- Embrace Emotional Reality: Engaging with, rather than bypassing, our emotions can significantly reduce underlying stress. Regular emotional check-ins, even if brief, can be illuminating.
- Acknowledge Imperfections: Recognising that errors are a part of the human experience can lift the weight of perfectionism. Mindful acceptance of imperfections can be liberating.
- Prioritise and Delegate: Taking the time to identify what truly matters can alleviate the stress of over-commitment. Delegating tasks and focusing on priorities can restore a sense of balance.
Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist
Stressful Sticking Points
- Identity Vacillation: For us, the search for authentic identity often leads to profound inner turmoil. This constant oscillation creates a sustained state of existential stress.
- Emotional Intensity: Our penchant for experiencing the depths of every emotion can become a breeding ground for stress, pulling us further into emotional labyrinths from which escape seems elusive.
- Envy and Comparison: We frequently find ourselves caught in the stressful cycle of comparing our insides to others’ outsides, fueling envy and discontent.
- Fear of Mediocrity: Our dread of being ‘ordinary’ serves as a relentless stressor, pushing us into the paradoxical realm where we are too afraid to act for fear of failing to be extraordinary.
- Nostalgia and Melancholy: We can become entrenched in the idealised past or an unattainable future, causing a stress that manifests as perpetual dissatisfaction with the present.
Dialling Down Distress
- Embrace Fluid Identity: The understanding that identity is fluid and ever-changing can alleviate the stress tied to ‘finding ourselves.’ This perspective shift enables a healthier, more integrated self-view.
- Channel Emotional Intensity: Creative outlets can serve as constructive conduits for our emotional surges, offering an escape valve for built-up stress.
- Counteract Comparison: Consciously acknowledging our unique qualities can break the cycle of envy and provide a relief from the stress it generates.
- Accept Imperfection: Accepting that it is human to be imperfect can relieve the stress stemming from our fear of mediocrity. Small, imperfect actions are better than inaction.
- Ground in the Present: Mindfulness and grounding exercises, including yoga combined with daily cardio.
- CTRL+ALT DELETE brakes for our fight-flight stress responses: e.g. breathing intervention (e.g. Wim Hof for 10 minutes, or 10 minutes of vagal nerve stimulation, or a psycho-somatic “dialling down distress” tool, or maybe even a cold swim or shower)
Enneagram Type 5: The Investigator
Stressful Sticking Points
- Information Hoarding: We often feel an insatiable need to accumulate knowledge, creating stress when we perceive gaps in our understanding.
- Social Avoidance: Our natural tendency to limit social interactions can lead to isolation, triggering additional stress in the form of loneliness or a sense of being out of touch.
- Emotional Detachment: We may experience stress through our detachment from emotions, either our own or those of others. This avoidance can generate a different form of internal stress.
- Feeling Drained: Social and emotional demands often feel overwhelmingly draining, generating stress as we ration our ‘energy budget’ to avoid depletion.
- Fear of Incompetence: Our dread of appearing uninformed or incompetent acts as a continual stressor, driving us to further retreat into our intellectual fortresses.
Dialling Down Distress
- Limit Information Intake: Establishing boundaries on how much information we consume can reduce the stress associated with feeling ‘incomplete.’
- Strategic Socialising: Selective social interaction can alleviate the stress linked to complete isolation, creating a balanced approach to human connection.
- Emotional Check-ins: Regularly acknowledging our emotional state, even in small doses, can mitigate the stress stemming from our emotional detachment.
- Energy Management: Deliberate and mindful allocation of our energy to different activities can lessen the stress of feeling constantly drained.
- Accepting Vulnerability: Embracing the vulnerability of not knowing everything can relieve the stress associated with the fear of incompetence.
Enneagram Type 6: The Loyalist
Stressful Sticking Points
- Anxiety About the Future: We often find ourselves ruminating on worst-case scenarios, adding stress by trying to prepare for uncertainties that may never materialise.
- Dependency and Doubt: Our intrinsic need for guidance and support creates internal stress when those we rely on seem unreliable or untrustworthy.
- Seeking Assurance: Our constant quest for external validation can become a never-ending cycle of stress when assurance is either insufficient or lacking.
- Fear of Abandonment: This deep-rooted fear becomes a constant source of stress, affecting how we interact in relationships and social settings.
- Decision-making Paralysis: The stress of making a wrong choice can often freeze us in our tracks, leading to procrastination and heightened anxiety.
Dialling Down Distress
- Present Moment Focus: Grounding exercises can pull us out of catastrophic thinking and refocus our energy on what’s tangible and immediate.
- Internal Validation: Cultivating a strong inner compass can reduce dependency on external assurance, diminishing stress over time.
- Trust in Reliability: Identifying and celebrating the reliable aspects of our lives can serve as an antidote to our frequent distrust and uncertainty.
- Reframe Abandonment: Acknowledging our intrinsic worth can mitigate the stress derived from our fear of abandonment.
- Embrace Uncertainty: Learning to sit with the discomfort of not having all the answers can relieve the stress associated with decision-making.
Enneagram Type 7: The Enthusiast
Stressful Sticking Points
- Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Our need to experience everything often leads us to overextend ourselves, creating a perpetual cycle of stress.
- Emotional Avoidance: We may use excitement and activities as a way to sidestep emotional pain, generating a different kind of stress as we avoid facing our true feelings.
- Commitment Phobia: Our innate fear of being trapped in emotional or logistical commitments can evoke stress, impacting our relationships and job satisfaction.
- Overwhelm: The desire to keep all options open often results in taking on too much, leading to stress from constant overwhelm.
- Shallow Engagement: Our tendency for surface-level engagement can lead to a lack of depth in relationships and endeavours, causing stress due to unfulfillment.
Dialling Down Distress
- Quality Over Quantity: Focusing on meaningful experiences rather than multiple shallow ones can relieve the stress derived from FOMO.
- Face Emotions: Taking time to confront and process our emotions can dissipate the stress associated with avoidance.
- Assess Commitments: Conscious evaluation of our commitments can help us identify what truly matters, lessening stress related to feeling trapped.
- Time Management: Structured planning can help manage our diverse interests, alleviating the stress stemming from constant overwhelm.
- Deepen Connections: Prioritising deeper, more meaningful interactions can mitigate the stress related to shallowness in our engagements.
Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger
Stressful Sticking Points
- Need for Control: Our constant desire to control environments and people can be a relentless source of stress, especially when things don’t go our way.
- Fear of Vulnerability: We guard ourselves from appearing weak, leading to stress when situations or relationships require emotional openness.
- Conflict Drive: While we often thrive in confrontational settings, the cumulative effect can add considerable stress to our lives and relationships.
- Intensity and Burnout: Our high-energy, intense approach can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion, creating a cycle of stress.
- Imposed Justice: The need to balance the scales, particularly when we or others are wronged, can become a constant source of stress.
Dialling Down Distress
- Letting Go: Learning to relinquish control in situations that don’t require our intervention can significantly alleviate stress.
- Embrace Vulnerability: Recognising the strength in vulnerability can reduce the stress associated with emotional openness.
- Pick Your Battles: Assessing the real necessity of confrontations can help diminish the cumulative stress they produce.
- Self-Care: Prioritising downtime and self-care can break the cycle of intensity and burnout.
- Flexible Justice: Adopting a more nuanced approach to justice can lighten the burden of always needing to balance the scales.
Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker
Stressful Sticking Points
- Conflict Avoidance: Our tendency to evade conflict often results in internal stress as unresolved issues accumulate.
- Suppressed Anger: The effort to maintain peace can lead to internalising anger, which adds to our stress levels.
- Indecisiveness: Our desire to keep all options open can lead to paralysis, causing stress when decisions are required.
- Neglect of Personal Needs: We often put others’ needs before our own, creating stress through self-neglect.
- Disconnection from Self: Our habit of merging with others to maintain peace can lead to a loss of self, creating existential stress.
Dialling Down Distress
- Healthy Confrontation: Learning the art of assertive communication can help resolve issues and reduce accumulated stress.
- Express, Don’t Suppress: Finding healthy outlets for anger can alleviate the stress that comes from suppression.
- Time-Bound Decision Making: Setting a deadline for decisions can help break the cycle of indecisiveness and its resultant stress.
- Self-Care Prioritisation: Taking time for self-care can alleviate stress stemming from neglect of personal needs.
- Mindfulness and Self-Connection: Practices like mindfulness can help us reconnect with ourselves, reducing existential stress.